A short play, staged within The Finn-Brit Players' production Short 'n' Snappy #6:
http://www.finnbritplayers.com/productions/past-productions/sns6
Play blurb:
It is Tuesday, as any other Tuesday, and life goes on in the busy district of Marylebone in London. Bert is just about to close his workday behind the counter of the pharmacy “Alternative Life” when Vicki bursts into the shop, bearing challenges of all kinds. Bert is quite adept at finding solutions, very unorthodox solutions in fact, but Vicki matches him pound for pound when it comes to derailing from the norms.
Characters:
Vicki and Bert are named after two of the grand masters of the con arts - Victor Lustig, who sold the Eiffel Tower for scrap (TWICE!), and “Big” Bertha Heyman, dubbed the "Confidence Queen". Our heroes may not have attained the same level of achievement and glory as their namesakes, at least not yet, but they certainly possess the dexterity of mind that allows them to quickly flip any narrative on its back.
Their chance encounter in the pharmacy “Alternative Life” may begin as an opinionated duel between their respective branches of alternative medicine, but quickly grows into something more than just two hardheads butting. Something that is not friendship just yet, but perhaps is the best that two people, who are practically trying to dupe each other, can hope for a start – to become frenemies.
Bert
Meet Bert. At first glance, you may think that he is just a chemist in a slightly suspiious pharmacy shop. And he'll be very happy for you to think that. "Just."
What you don't suspect is that Bert is a master salesman. There is no pitch he will not attempt, and no deal he will not pursue. He can sell water to the fish and snow to the penguins. Nowadays, he sells alternative medicine and mostly homeopathy. Does he believe in it? Now this is a mystery, and nothing can sell better than a mystery.
We find Bert behind the counter of "Alternative Life" and he is quite bored, as the shop lacks the one thing that brings life to salesmen - customers. This is the moment Vicki walks in, providing a target for Bert's skills. But as he will quickly find out, not only that striking a deal with her requires alternative strategies, but also the payment can be quite... alternative.
Vicki
Vicki works with her hands, as she treats people's joints and bones. She's diligent, robust, and occasionally unlucky... somewhat frequently occasionally. But this would never deter her, because she possesses something that can compensate for any trouble - her critical mind. She's quite suspicious of easy explanations, of magical thinking, and of conspiracy theories, although lately she's starting to suspect that the manufacturers of spine adjusters are definitely out to get her.
She can examine anything in great, and sometimes excessive detail. Remarkably, she can do that even in the middle of a crisis, and even when the target of her scrutiny bears no obvious connection to the ongoing crisis. The room might be on fire, and you'll find Vicki investigating a weird wrinkle on the wallpaper. While this may appear counter-evolutionary, Vicki will be the only person in a room full of running idiots, who will discover that the weird wrinkle hides the switch for the sprinkler system.
It is this resourceful mind that she'll need the most when she walks into "Alternative Life" and finds out that the pharmacy she used to rely on has changed completely.
written & directed by Vladislav Nenchev
Cast:
Bert – Dish M. Eldishnawy
Vicki – Delphine Laniesse
Additional credits:
The first, third, and fourth photos are by Thibaud Rohmer.